Insomnia

For as long as I can remember I have always found it extremely difficult to fall asleep. My parents have both told me that as a baby I was such a nightmare to put to sleep but they didn’t think anything of it and just assumed it was the norm as all parents experience difficulties with putting young babies to sleep. My dad then started lying me face down on his belly and found that this used to make me fall asleep instantly. Now because of that I genuinely can only fall asleep in that position, I cant sleep on my back or side but only on my front so cheers dad!

I honestly remember as a young kid I used to repeatedly find it hard to fall asleep. Sharing a bedroom with my younger sister I can recall I would stay up and talk to her for ages trying to get her to stay awake as I absolutely hated being the only one awake. When trying to fall asleep I would make up imaginary scenarios in my head such as my perfect holiday or situations that would never happen.

Over the years my problem has definitely got worse. I have been to the doctors many times but they always end up finding something else which is wrong with me or just tell me im “stressed” out. Eugh I hate hearing that.

Some days I find myself wide awake till 4 in the morning, and then I wake up at half 7 for a full day. When I know I’ve got to be awake in the morning I start to panic and I get really agitated and anxious. Sometimes I will physically get out of bed and just pretend that its normal day time and get on with some work or do something useful such as tidy my wardrobe or clean my en-suite. I have started to learn how to deal with my issue and I know what works and what doesn’t work for me personally.

For example I find that the nights I get the best sleep are those days when I am at my busiest and active, which seems quite obvious really. I remember when I went home for Christmas and I worked 9-6 Monday to Friday, and my sleeping pattern was absolutely amazing, as I would always come home exhausted from travelling and work that I would simply have a shower, a little dinner and then fall asleep. Another thing that helps me is going for a really long walk about an hour or two before I want to fall asleep, apart from the exercise I find that the fresh air really makes a difference. I also find it comforting if there’s somebody else sleeping next to me or in the same room; more often than not back home I will climb into my mums bed and fall asleep.

Apart from being annoying, my sleeping pattern has definitely caused some problems. I find myself over sleeping sometimes and missing important seminars/lectures and meetings. When I haven’t slept properly I’m really cranky and moody during the day; I always try my best to avoid napping as then I don’t sleep during the night, but sometimes I am physically exhausted I have to give in. It’s like a viscous circle.

My sleeping pattern at the moment is off the wall and completely inconsistent. I plan on being a lot more active this week and eating a lot healthier which I hope will make a difference.